James Patterson’s New Illustrated Book Asks: What if Penguins Behaved Like Humans? And the Results are Hilarious

This post is sponsored by Little, Brown & Co.

James Patterson is on the morning shows talking about the thriller he cowrote with Bill Clinton. This should not be confused with the dozens of other thrillers he’s written, the 45 (and counting) short books under 150 pages and, no, it’s not an Alex Cross thriller.

Stefanie and I are more concerned with his new illustrated book Penguins of America. We appreciate that we only had to wait three pages for a potty joke, six pages for a tattoo of regret and seven for a jab at the ridiculous drinks that barristas everywhere are forced to make.

It’s been a while since either of us have bought our own children picture books, so we end up buying our friends’ kids nostalgia from our own childhood or the books we read to our kids. The problem with that is we’d miss out on gems like this:

What is more ridiculous? The idea of a Penguin ordering food at Starbucks or the actual orders that humans make?   http://wearemidlife.com

Penguins of America is a hilarious depiction of our daily lives were penguins were to take a walk in our shoes.

Does anyone have a recipe handy for a mini-jumbo, skinny-nonfat, chocolate-cod, sugar-free, triple-espresso, extra-hot, no-froth decaf?

I asked Stefanie and her reaction was

When I asked her what the problematic ingredient is she simply replied, “Decaf”.

I have a little collection of books that I’m gifting to my friends four year old daughter. Two are Madeline (nostalgia), two are early readers (I can’t help myself), and the last one is Penguins of America. The illustrations are the for the kids, the cheeky words are all for mom.

You can check Instagram and Twitter for your favorite pages, they’re using the hashtag #PenguinsofAmerica

We’ve also partnered with Little, Brown & Co to bring you a copy of Penguins of America as well as a $50 gift card to Starbucks. The only requirement is that you promise to never use it to buy decaf anything. Stefanie does not approve.

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  1. latanya
    May 12, 2017 at 5:38 pm

    I would share with my kids


  2. Margaret S Porter
    May 12, 2017 at 5:50 pm

    I would share this with my grandchildren!


  3. Cheryl B
    May 12, 2017 at 6:22 pm

    I would share this with my Granddaughter.


  4. May 12, 2017 at 6:31 pm

    I would share with my niece is I clicked enter before typing my full insta handle whis phone is davisesq212 and not davisesq)


    1. May 12, 2017 at 6:33 pm

      Ugh spell check……my comment should read…..I would share with my niece. Also, I clicked enter before typing my full Instagram handle which is davisesq212 and not davisesq


  5. Michele Cupp
    May 12, 2017 at 7:14 pm

    I would be sharing this with my best friend’s grandson.


  6. Deb E
    May 12, 2017 at 7:22 pm

    It’s too fun not to share with the kids so I would definitely enjoy and share it.


  7. Deb P
    May 12, 2017 at 7:32 pm

    Mostly for me , but other people many use it too.


  8. Janet W.
    May 13, 2017 at 4:41 am

    I would share this book with my grandsons!


  9. Natalie
    May 13, 2017 at 5:02 am

    I would share this book with my niece who loves to read!


  10. Julie Wood
    May 13, 2017 at 6:04 am

    I would share this book with my daughter. She would enjoy it with me!


  11. May 13, 2017 at 7:20 am

    Don’t tell Opus!


    1. May 14, 2017 at 2:38 pm

      You just keep churning out great recipes and I’ll keep your secrets. Deal?


  12. Lauren
    May 13, 2017 at 7:49 am

    I would share this with my kids.


  13. Courtney
    May 13, 2017 at 8:29 am

    I will definitely share with my kids. Looks fun!


  14. Elena
    May 13, 2017 at 10:34 am

    I would share it with my niece


  15. May 13, 2017 at 1:34 pm

    Share with a child.


  16. heather
    May 13, 2017 at 2:20 pm

    I would so share this book with a child it looks amazing.


  17. Kelly D
    May 14, 2017 at 9:40 am

    I would share this with my son and daughter.


  18. Steve Weber
    May 14, 2017 at 12:54 pm

    I would share these books with my nieces and nephews.


  19. Chrissy
    May 14, 2017 at 12:58 pm

    I would definitely share this book with my daughter – she loves penguins!


  20. sandra
    May 15, 2017 at 10:28 am

    maybe both options


  21. Rust
    May 15, 2017 at 3:19 pm

    I would share it with a child, my best friend’s son.


  22. Jennifer Marie
    May 16, 2017 at 5:24 am

    I would share it with my sons.


  23. May 16, 2017 at 10:24 am

    I would share this with my daughter! She loves animals.


  24. Emily Smith
    May 16, 2017 at 6:22 pm

    I would love to share this book with my three boys!


  25. Barbara Montag
    May 17, 2017 at 12:00 am

    I would share this book with our grand daughter.
    thank you


  26. Tina W
    May 17, 2017 at 1:43 am

    I think I would keep it out for adults. We can all use a little levity in our lives these days.


  27. Nataly Carbonell
    May 17, 2017 at 3:03 pm

    I’d share it with my niece!


  28. Kristen
    May 17, 2017 at 8:45 pm

    I’d gift it to friends who call their twins “the penguins”. They’d love it!


  29. Lisa Brown
    May 18, 2017 at 12:13 am

    I would share it with the kids and we all would enjoy it.


  30. kelly tupick
    May 18, 2017 at 5:16 am

    I would share this with my daughter.


  31. Nicole Lancaster
    May 18, 2017 at 9:38 am

    I would put the Penguins of America book on the coffee table for the adults to enjoy.


  32. Lissa Crane
    May 18, 2017 at 11:01 am

    I would love to share this beautiful book with my three children! I think they would really enjoy it!


  33. Sarah Mayer
    May 18, 2017 at 12:44 pm

    I would give the book to my nieces.


  34. Lee Mckeon
    May 18, 2017 at 1:14 pm

    I would share it with my daughter!


  35. Melissa
    May 18, 2017 at 1:24 pm

    I’d share it with my young students!


  36. May 18, 2017 at 5:46 pm

    This would be on the coffee table for the whole family.


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