James Patterson’s New Illustrated Book Asks: What if Penguins Behaved Like Humans? And the Results are Hilarious

This post is sponsored by Little, Brown & Co.

James Patterson is on the morning shows talking about the thriller he cowrote with Bill Clinton. This should not be confused with the dozens of other thrillers he’s written, the 45 (and counting) short books under 150 pages and, no, it’s not an Alex Cross thriller.

Stefanie and I are more concerned with his new illustrated book Penguins of America. We appreciate that we only had to wait three pages for a potty joke, six pages for a tattoo of regret and seven for a jab at the ridiculous drinks that barristas everywhere are forced to make.

It’s been a while since either of us have bought our own children picture books, so we end up buying our friends’ kids nostalgia from our own childhood or the books we read to our kids. The problem with that is we’d miss out on gems like this:

What is more ridiculous? The idea of a Penguin ordering food at Starbucks or the actual orders that humans make?   http://wearemidlife.com

Penguins of America is a hilarious depiction of our daily lives were penguins were to take a walk in our shoes.

Does anyone have a recipe handy for a mini-jumbo, skinny-nonfat, chocolate-cod, sugar-free, triple-espresso, extra-hot, no-froth decaf?

I asked Stefanie and her reaction was

When I asked her what the problematic ingredient is she simply replied, “Decaf”.

I have a little collection of books that I’m gifting to my friends four year old daughter. Two are Madeline (nostalgia), two are early readers (I can’t help myself), and the last one is Penguins of America. The illustrations are the for the kids, the cheeky words are all for mom.

You can check Instagram and Twitter for your favorite pages, they’re using the hashtag #PenguinsofAmerica

We’ve also partnered with Little, Brown & Co to bring you a copy of Penguins of America as well as a $50 gift card to Starbucks. The only requirement is that you promise to never use it to buy decaf anything. Stefanie does not approve.

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38 Comments

  1. latanya
    May 12, 2017 at 5:38 pm

    I would share with my kids

    Reply

  2. Margaret S Porter
    May 12, 2017 at 5:50 pm

    I would share this with my grandchildren!

    Reply

  3. Cheryl B
    May 12, 2017 at 6:22 pm

    I would share this with my Granddaughter.

    Reply

  4. May 12, 2017 at 6:31 pm

    I would share with my niece is I clicked enter before typing my full insta handle whis phone is davisesq212 and not davisesq)

    Reply

    1. May 12, 2017 at 6:33 pm

      Ugh spell check……my comment should read…..I would share with my niece. Also, I clicked enter before typing my full Instagram handle which is davisesq212 and not davisesq

      Reply

  5. Michele Cupp
    May 12, 2017 at 7:14 pm

    I would be sharing this with my best friend’s grandson.

    Reply

  6. Deb E
    May 12, 2017 at 7:22 pm

    It’s too fun not to share with the kids so I would definitely enjoy and share it.

    Reply

  7. Deb P
    May 12, 2017 at 7:32 pm

    Mostly for me , but other people many use it too.

    Reply

  8. Janet W.
    May 13, 2017 at 4:41 am

    I would share this book with my grandsons!

    Reply

  9. Natalie
    May 13, 2017 at 5:02 am

    I would share this book with my niece who loves to read!

    Reply

  10. Julie Wood
    May 13, 2017 at 6:04 am

    I would share this book with my daughter. She would enjoy it with me!

    Reply

  11. May 13, 2017 at 7:20 am

    Don’t tell Opus!

    Reply

    1. May 14, 2017 at 2:38 pm

      You just keep churning out great recipes and I’ll keep your secrets. Deal?

      Reply

  12. Lauren
    May 13, 2017 at 7:49 am

    I would share this with my kids.

    Reply

  13. Courtney
    May 13, 2017 at 8:29 am

    I will definitely share with my kids. Looks fun!

    Reply

  14. Elena
    May 13, 2017 at 10:34 am

    I would share it with my niece

    Reply

  15. May 13, 2017 at 1:34 pm

    Share with a child.

    Reply

  16. heather
    May 13, 2017 at 2:20 pm

    I would so share this book with a child it looks amazing.

    Reply

  17. Kelly D
    May 14, 2017 at 9:40 am

    I would share this with my son and daughter.

    Reply

  18. Steve Weber
    May 14, 2017 at 12:54 pm

    I would share these books with my nieces and nephews.

    Reply

  19. Chrissy
    May 14, 2017 at 12:58 pm

    I would definitely share this book with my daughter – she loves penguins!

    Reply

  20. sandra
    May 15, 2017 at 10:28 am

    maybe both options

    Reply

  21. Rust
    May 15, 2017 at 3:19 pm

    I would share it with a child, my best friend’s son.

    Reply

  22. Jennifer Marie
    May 16, 2017 at 5:24 am

    I would share it with my sons.

    Reply

  23. May 16, 2017 at 10:24 am

    I would share this with my daughter! She loves animals.

    Reply

  24. Emily Smith
    May 16, 2017 at 6:22 pm

    I would love to share this book with my three boys!

    Reply

  25. Barbara Montag
    May 17, 2017 at 12:00 am

    I would share this book with our grand daughter.
    thank you

    Reply

  26. Tina W
    May 17, 2017 at 1:43 am

    I think I would keep it out for adults. We can all use a little levity in our lives these days.

    Reply

  27. Nataly Carbonell
    May 17, 2017 at 3:03 pm

    I’d share it with my niece!

    Reply

  28. Kristen
    May 17, 2017 at 8:45 pm

    I’d gift it to friends who call their twins “the penguins”. They’d love it!

    Reply

  29. Lisa Brown
    May 18, 2017 at 12:13 am

    I would share it with the kids and we all would enjoy it.

    Reply

  30. kelly tupick
    May 18, 2017 at 5:16 am

    I would share this with my daughter.

    Reply

  31. Nicole Lancaster
    May 18, 2017 at 9:38 am

    I would put the Penguins of America book on the coffee table for the adults to enjoy.

    Reply

  32. Lissa Crane
    May 18, 2017 at 11:01 am

    I would love to share this beautiful book with my three children! I think they would really enjoy it!

    Reply

  33. Sarah Mayer
    May 18, 2017 at 12:44 pm

    I would give the book to my nieces.

    Reply

  34. Lee Mckeon
    May 18, 2017 at 1:14 pm

    I would share it with my daughter!

    Reply

  35. Melissa
    May 18, 2017 at 1:24 pm

    I’d share it with my young students!

    Reply

  36. May 18, 2017 at 5:46 pm

    This would be on the coffee table for the whole family.

    Reply

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