James Patterson’s New Illustrated Book Asks: What if Penguins Behaved Like Humans? And the Results are Hilarious

This post is sponsored by Little, Brown & Co.

James Patterson is on the morning shows talking about the thriller he cowrote with Bill Clinton. This should not be confused with the dozens of other thrillers he’s written, the 45 (and counting) short books under 150 pages and, no, it’s not an Alex Cross thriller.

Stefanie and I are more concerned with his new illustrated book Penguins of America. We appreciate that we only had to wait three pages for a potty joke, six pages for a tattoo of regret and seven for a jab at the ridiculous drinks that barristas everywhere are forced to make.

It’s been a while since either of us have bought our own children picture books, so we end up buying our friends’ kids nostalgia from our own childhood or the books we read to our kids. The problem with that is we’d miss out on gems like this:

What is more ridiculous? The idea of a Penguin ordering food at Starbucks or the actual orders that humans make?   http://wearemidlife.com

Penguins of America is a hilarious depiction of our daily lives were penguins were to take a walk in our shoes.

Does anyone have a recipe handy for a mini-jumbo, skinny-nonfat, chocolate-cod, sugar-free, triple-espresso, extra-hot, no-froth decaf?

I asked Stefanie and her reaction was

When I asked her what the problematic ingredient is she simply replied, “Decaf”.

I have a little collection of books that I’m gifting to my friends four year old daughter. Two are Madeline (nostalgia), two are early readers (I can’t help myself), and the last one is Penguins of America. The illustrations are the for the kids, the cheeky words are all for mom.

You can check Instagram and Twitter for your favorite pages, they’re using the hashtag #PenguinsofAmerica

We’ve also partnered with Little, Brown & Co to bring you a copy of Penguins of America as well as a $50 gift card to Starbucks. The only requirement is that you promise to never use it to buy decaf anything. Stefanie does not approve.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Ferragamo red and black leather belt

Valentine’s Day Gift Guide

You can buy us pretty much anything for Valentine’s Day and we’ll be delighted. We’ve lived through the joys of Macaroni Necklaces and clay handprints. If you want to know what women like us really want this list will come in handy.

For your nightstand: Upstream: Selected Essays

Currently on my bed-side table is a book of essays written by Mary Oliver, one of America’s premier poets. “Upstream follows Oliver as she contemplates the pleasure of artistic labor, her boundless curiosity for the flora and fauna that surround her, and the responsibility she has inherited from Shelley, Wordsworth, Emerson, Poe, and Frost the great thinkers and writers of the past, to live thoughtfully and intelligently, and to observe with passion.”

Upstream: Selected Essays available in hardcover or digital download for instant gifting $12.95 to $15.95

Upstream: A book of Essays by Mary Oliver


Shinola: The Cass Watch

Stefanie fell in love with Shinola because they have a wonderful story. She went to their pop up store at The Grove in Los Angeles and learned about how they repurposed workspace in Downtown Detroit and reemployed past auto workers in an effort to create a better product and to rejuvenate a city.

Jessica fell in love with Shinola because she likes pretty things.

This watch is called The Cass and if it reminds you an Hermès Kelly watch you are not alone. At $950 it’s a generous gift that’s not a ring.

The Cass watch from Shinola is the perfect Valentine's Day Gift

The BloomsyBox delivers cut flowers every month.

Who wouldn’t love to get a bouquet of flowers every month? BloomsyBox’s subscription service delivers beautiful cut flowers to your door every month. They have partnered with farms that are committed to protecting the environment and treating their workers with care. $40-$50 a month.

BloomsyBox sends a bouquet of flowers every month

Chocolate. Did someone say, “Chocolate”?

Chocolate and Valentines? But of course! Lady Chocolatt is a chocolate boutique and coffee shop in West Los Angeles. It’s no secret that Stefanie has a bit of a coffee addiction so adding some sweets to her favorite type of shop is always a big win. If you’re local visit the store on Wilshire Blvd near Literati Cafe on Bundy or you can order on-line here. Our favorite is the Ballontins Box beginning at just $27.50.

Chocolate for Valentine's Day


A red leather belt from Ferragamo

Everyone loves reversible belts. In addition to respecting your closet clutter we all have a perfect notch for our favorite belts and when you can get two colors on one leather strap everyone wins.

For Valentine’s Day we are coveting this black and red belt with a gold buckle closure $395 at ShopBop

Ferragamo red and black leather belt